


Flattening

by yourrockyspine



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-27
Updated: 2018-10-27
Packaged: 2019-08-08 14:54:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,388
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16431569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yourrockyspine/pseuds/yourrockyspine
Summary: A small, fluffy Happy Halloween follow-up toDead and BreakfastArthur takes Merlin to his flat; Morgana's there all ghost-like and obnoxious.





	Flattening

**Author's Note:**

> Shite title on account of... it... concerns a flat. Yeah.

The evening of Halloween had approached faster than expected, but Emrys Lodge B&B was ready for the festivities - draped in spider webs, decorated with curiously carved pumpkins, and the odd strategically placed ghost dressed as either Freddy, Jason, or Leatherface (just so long as they didn't show their true ghost faces to the public; regardless of Hunith's vehement protests, Merlin was trying to go for "explicably creepy", not "never-come-back-from-the-trauma creepy").

Usually Percival was the B&B's main attraction on account of his mind-blowing body mass, even in death, but this year the gentle giant was stuck on basement duty, cradling Rhod's head between his large bear paws while gentle old Alice held two knitting needles up to Rhod's headless throat.

Rhod may have no longer been alive (in fact, he hadn't been for many a century), but he surely felt the pain inflicted on him by the two people currently holding him hostage, and rightly so. Rhod had yet to display the kind of behaviour that made him trustworthy around little children. The blasted English-born, French-executed thief had a way of snatching little children's bags of candy from them and relishing in their astonished tears. Being a century-old ghost, there was no way for Rhod to feed himself, so instead he chose to feed himself on the lost hopes and dreams of live children, like the proper dick he was.

With Percival's impressive frame kneading the incorrigible thief's head between his hands and kindly old Alice poking the odd needle into his throat whenever the head took on an expression of devious contemplation, Rhod was stuck between a rock and a hard place.

Initially, Merlin was in a bind: he'd been texting back-and-forth with Arthur, exchanging lovestruck bollocks as well as apologising vehemently for not being able to take the next couple months off, whilst also longing for the chance to meet Arthur at his home turf. Bloody busy October days.

It had taken Hunith, Merlin's mum as well as ghost as well as professional meddler, exactly four days to drum up a new crew, entirely behind Merlin's back.

Hunith wasn't exactly confined to Emrys Lodge, but she also rarely ventured outside on account of her growing slightly more eccentric in the afterlife.

Nevertheless, the sight of her young lad pining away behind a desk had made her profoundly sad (her exact words), and she'd ventured out into the small village of Ealdor to assemble a motley crew of spirit-sensitive out of work humans.

The fact that she'd found two whole candidates had knocked Merlin for six; though only after he gave his crazy mum an earful.

First there was Freya, a shy and tentative young woman whose experience with the undead had been very unpleasant up until the moment Hunith breezed past her little market stall and made her an offer she couldn't refuse (and what to think of Hunith Corleone, Merlin had no idea).

Despite her initial shyness, Freya had immersed herself into the role of desk manager and it was clear that her submissive but charming presence put the customers at ease.

Then there was Gwaine. Or, as Merlin called him in the confines of his mind, God-Almighty-Gwaine. If it hadn't been for the prime Oxford beefcake waiting for him in London, Merlin would've draped himself all over Gwaine and disappeared into his shiny hair altogether. He made sure not to mention Gwaine in his texts to Arthur outside of the odd reference to "the bartender". Which was Gwaine's job, so no harm, no foul. 

Hunith had discovered Gwaine panhandling on the side of the road, trying to exchange magic tricks for a ride. She'd stopped to ask if he would like to mix drinks at the local B&B and earn his way out of Ealdor, and it turned out Gwaine was a natural.

Although Emrys Lodge B&B was in better hands than it had ever been, Merlin was reluctant to leave it behind. True, he had a beautiful man and his undead sister waiting for him, but he hadn't let his hometown in... frankly, ever.

As Merlin stood appreciating the spiderweb-doused, Leatherface-guarded front of his beloved B&B, Will snuck up on him.

"It's not like you're leaving forever, you sentimental towel. It's only 5 days. I've been away longer and I'm fucking dead."

Merlin punched Will in the shoulder, hard; dead or not, he'd fucking feel it.

"Bloody OW! You shite! I was just trying to help."

"I know," dimpled Merlin. "That was my 'thanks'."

***

"You sure you're okay there?"

Will groaned, allowing the whites of his eyes to show, which was infinitely creepier on account of him being dead. He lifted Rhod's head towards the skies, and thank fuck the Ealdor Station platform was as empty as always.

"YES, oh ye mighty desk champion, there are actual human beings in charge of your beloved hotel, and I the non-human will hang around to see what I can do to help while they're at it. This here face which I currently cradle between my delicate but masculine hands will be basement fodder; we have in fact managed to divide our people into two teams, both of whom would love a shot at tossing old Rhod about."

The head in Will's hands howled with dismay, but to Merlin's delight Will simply dug his thumbs into Rhod's eyeballs, effectively silencing the rebellious spirit.

"You know I trust you," said Merlin sincerely. "It's just hard to say goodbye."

Will rolled his eyes. "It's not goodbye, you dramatic freak of nature, it's just temporary-bye. Not to mention you're off to bloody _London_ to pound your pretty piece, who probably lives in the fancier part, so forgive me if my dead unbleeding heart bleeds significantly less right now."

The train rolled into the station, and Merlin wrapped his arms around Will, muffling Rhod's head between them.

"Love you, mate," he whispered into Will's ear.

"Get some, buddy," Will whispered back.

"Hrmphfjgaudghh," grumbled Rhod's head.

***

St. Pancras. Fuck, but Merlin was finally there after only three seperate stopovers.

The sheer number of cabs was blinding, but made slightly easier by the charming VW Beetle honking profusely (and slightly less charmingly).

Behind the wheel of the Beetle sat a very familiar blond head, and Merlin's heart skipped a beat. He allowed himself a moment to side-eye his heart, because lovely or no, Arthur's incessant honking announced the arrival of a Business Class prick.

He opened the car door, only to be greeted by a glorious heating system as well as Arthur's beautiful, smirking face.

"Kind of you to finally show up, _Mer_ lin."

"Nice of you to get here hours in advance, _clot_ pole."

Merlin didn't know what roared louder; the ancient Beetle's engine, or Arthur.

***

The car came to a stop in front of a relatively modest-looking flat that Merlin _knew_ would probably cost him a kidney.

Over their 40-minute journey, he and Arthur had fallen into familiar patterns, provoking each other without heat, and laughing about stupid jokes neither of them thought were actually any good. Now that they were here, though, the atmosphere became entirely too charged and awkward.

After taking the keys out of his car, Arthur leaned in and kissed Merlin softly on the lips.

"Hey, there."

 _Thank fuck for Arthur_ , Merlin thought not for the first time. He kissed back and dimpled at the beautiful man who'd waited for him all these months.

"It's good to see you again."

Arthur huffed a laugh. "Good's a bloody understatement. I told you my sister would be there, right? And that she's-"

"Lively but probably not too much so? Yeah, I know, Arthur."

"In that case, get out and grab your bags. I'm no gentleman, whatever you can carry, you'll carry."

Merlin feigned a swooning motion and batted his lashes at Arthur. "Could you be the one?"

Arthur's belly laugh was worth Merlin making a twat of himself.

***

Modest as Arthur's flat appeared, it had a doorman as well as a lift.

It was as they were inside the latter that Merlin teased Arthur about the former. " _Right away, Mr. Pendragon._ "

Arthur's lips quirked. "Sounds rather a lot better when you say it... We're going to have to explore that."

Of all the ways Merlin's attempts at ridicule had blown up in his face, this was rather his favourite. He was just about to snuggle up to Arthur and get him to make good on his promise when the lift got to the top floor.

"After you," murmured Arthur.

"Don't got a key," murmured Merlin.

Arthur cringed and produced the key from his coat pocket. "So much for being suave, I suppose."

Merlin slid his hands into Arthur's jeans pockets from behind. " _Dunno about that..._ "

The door opened just as soon as Arthur pressed back into Merlin's grip, and a voice went, "By all means, boys, put on a show! But allow me to press mute on Formula 1 first."

Merlin froze and Arthur groaned. " _Morgana_ , for Christ's- did or did I not tell you to hide in your bedroom?"

"Oh, you did, and that's right where I am," spoke the voice Merlin, now inside the flat, still couldn't put a face to.

" _This fucking creep_ ," muttered Arthur under his breath, before meeting Merlin's eyes with his own pretty blue wide-eyes. "I'm so sorry, Merlin, I should've remembered to tell you: Morgana can project her voice from wherever the bloody hell she's at, because she is a psychopath and I'm just living inside her lair until she deigns my presence futile."

Merlin just smirked. "Why, Morgana, pleasure to finally make your acquaintance on account we're soon-to-be in-laws." He delighted in Arthur's melodramatic gasp, and felt that Morgana did, too.

"Sure be a pleasure if you stopped hiding behind the pillars, though..."

So indeed did a pale, beautiful young woman appear from behind a strategically-placed pillar.

Her beautifully symmetrical face, framed by long ebony locks, was contorted in a smirk. "So you're the boy whose lengthy prick has turned my little brother's brain to mush."

Ignoring Arthur's indignant splutter, Merlin smirked back. "So you're the girl keeping this man away from my lengthy prick."

Whilst Arthur grunted and coughed like an ancient car in the background, Morgana threw her head back and cackled, finally showing Merlin the sibling resemblance.

The slender, pale woman slid forward in the unsettling way of a ghost who'd been a ghost for far too long, and wrapped a surprisingly solid pair of arms around Merlin's shoulders.

"So glad to make your acquaintance. It's not everyday Arthur brings home a boy. It's _never_ Arthur brings ho-"

"Alright, Morgana, it's piss-on-off time," growled Arthur, shoving his sister none-too-gently into a bookcase. Merlin noticed not a single book fell.

Morgana wasn't the least bit put off, she just purred with delight. "See you later, _Mer_ lin." She blended into the bookcase and disappeared.

Merlin had seen many a ghost trick over the years, but never a full blend. "Did she just-"

"Only so long as she doesn't want to be seen," Arthur growled petulantly. "For all we know she's up in the ceiling."

"Wow," Merlin gaped. "She must be insanely powerful."

Arthur pouted in that way Merlin had no idea how to resist. "I guess. So I suppose you'd rather look into my creepo sister and ignore me for the rest of the night."

Merlin pressed himself up against Arthur and purred. " _Think again, champ_."

They lowered themselves onto the sofa, Arthur on top of Merlin, nipping deliciously at his lower lip and grinding their crotches together.

It wasn't until Arthur reached for Merlin's zipper that a voice went, " _Oh, yes_ , show me what Mummy gave you!" and Arthur immediately let go in order to stare at the ceiling in utter dismay and grumble, " _MORGANA_!"

***

Alright, so a pleasurable stay at Arthur's flat didn't exactly include... well, pleasure.

But it did include Morgana, and Merlin was obsessed with her.

Arthur had told him she'd died after a lengthy battle with leukemia, but ghost Morgana showed no such signs. She was bright, happy and lively, always ready to make Arthur and Merlin (primarily Arthur, but once the two men got too intimate it was anyone's guess) look like utter pricks.

She asked them countless personal questions, cooing when the answer pleased her, and worst of all: she'd died before reaching her special milestones, so every single one of Merlin's equally intrusive questions was answered with an off-hand "Dying, mate." It would've been awkward if it hadn't been for Morgana's cheeky smirk everytime she said it.

Despite Arthur's promise to toss Morgana out for the time being and shag Merlin all over the flat, Merlin couldn't quite allow his bleeding heart to go there.

Arthur was ready to go, and normally it would've taken Merlin a single look at that petulant, pouty face, but Morgana's presence had complicated things for him. Merlin had always had a soft spot for a rebellious spirit, just ask Will.

They were just about to get more familiar with each other, Arthur on top of Merlin in his bedroom, when Merlin ruined the moment.

"Poor Morgana, is she just out there waiting for you to get some?"

A bright cackle came from somewhere in the vicinity of Arthur's desk lamp.

"Even sodding worse than that, I fear..."

Merlin threw his head back and laughed. When he came back to, Arthur was staring down at him in sheer fascination.

Tracing a finger across Arthur's eyebrows, then nose, then lips, Merlin mumbled, "Very pretty. Very, very..."

It wasn't until someone cackled right behind his ear that Merlin's hand dropped away from Arthur's face.

"Morgana?!"

The young woman appeared at the edge of the bed, a sight altogether too Windsor-y for Merlin to be cool with.

"Sorry, you're just so bloody precious. Enough so that I'd chance catching a glimpse of my little brother's Dickensian. What can I say, I'm a sucker for true love."

Mood effectively ruined somewhere around the use of 'Dickensian', Merlin turned his head towards Arthur's. "How about we placate her, for the time being?"

Arthur groaned, but turned to face Morgana. "Fuck you want, witch?"

Morgana's pretty pale ghost face contorted into something altogether unsavoury.

"Let's watch 'Killer Klowns From Outer Space'!"

Both cockblocked men howled with frustration.


End file.
